Warning! Not For Use By Idiots!

The previous owner of our house was kind enough to leave us a fire log in the fireplace.

Isn't he sweet? This is the type where you simply light the paper bag the log is contained in and then sit back and enjoy. However, the manufacturers want to make sure that you understand that by lighting this paper log on fire, you could be at risk of....starting a FIRE!

Really? Because it hadn't occurred to me that lighting a fire log could create a fire. Also, the flames on the bag don't really communicate 'fire' well enough. Luckily I have the fine makers of Pine Mountain Giant Size paper logs to set me straight.

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The Wheels In Mommy's Head Aren't Spinning Quite Fast Enough

One day Sam came home from Jesus School twirling his arms madly. He seemed very insistent on performing this task, but he was angry that I wasn't participating in some way. The trouble was that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

The next week, he came home and put one hand on his hip, stuck the other arm out and walked around crooked. I tried copying his actions, but that wasn't the right thing to do, apparently. He would get noticeably frustrated when I couldn't figure out what he wanted, and meltdowns would ensue.

Finally, a friend was over and noticed Sam doing the arm twirl thing again. She casually asked if 'The Wheels on the Bus' was one of his favorite songs. I must have looked at her like there were lobsters crawling out of her ears, because she went on to explain that to her, it looked like Sam was doing the arm motions that go along with that song. Well, no sooner than the words left her lips Sam started dancing around like a wild man. We started singing and he was deliriously happy.

It still took me a few more days to figure out that the other dance was 'I'm a Little Teapot.' Rhodes scholar I am not.

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